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rrggrronSep 8, 2019

This disproportionately impact men and boys. Can't recommend "The Boy Crisis" enough as a must read. Or at least this TED talk: https://youtu.be/Qi1oN1icAYc

alexis_fronFeb 5, 2019

The Boy Crisis, Warren Farrell.

I discovered the dire situation of men, with health and social conditions that top women’s problems by a factor 50, but we’ve never heard about. Funny thing is the guy is still a feminist in his approach (give men what used to be only given to women), but finally seeing men in a society where we really carr a lot when women face a problem... it changed my vision of life and humanity.

alexis_fronJan 2, 2020

« The Boy Crisis » by Warren Farrell is a good study, it tells a few causes concerning boys. Basically they are forgotten in class or in family because we’re all focussed on equality for women, and they know they’re not the priority. Addictions to video games, porn, media consumption are only a result of a broader societal change into a society of equality.

He’s said to be controversial like Peterson, he talks about the same topics, but from a male-feminist point of view, as he was president of the New York chapter of the National Organization for Women (Peterson is on the opposite spectrum as a Christian/conservative, Farrell is rather a leftist/equalitarian. Both controversial but raising good points).

ohitsdomonNov 17, 2020

If you enjoy this, I'd recommend The Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell and John Gray. A lot of really interesting material on being a dad and specifically parenting boys (but a lot of the benefit also extends to women obviously). At first the material felt a little too "men's rights!" to me, but there really are a significant amount of culture deficiencies in raising men to be fathers.

AlphaOne1onNov 17, 2020

I will be the first to admit that becoming a father was a difficult transition. One book that I recommend that all fathers read is The Boy Crisis. With the usual disclaimer that I do not agree with everything the author states, it greatly helped me see what a crucial role I have in raising our kids (my wife and I were blessed with 5 children, including 2 sets of twins). Interestingly, the first baby was by far the hardest transition because we both felt trapped in our new roles. Now that we are a few years in, it has been extremely rewarding to watch our kids mature. My wife and I have spent hours discussing this topic and we agree that fatherhood in general is not well understood in society today. The book helped me to understand my unique role as a father in raising our kids. My wife and I share a similar value system but are often baffled by how different our approach is to parenting. I might sound antiquated but I really think we compliment each other in how we approach our children.

Oh and one side note: the single most important quality of life change that my wife and I made was to get our kids to go to bed early. We now have them all in bed by 7:30 PM so the rest of the evening we have to ourselves. This takes discipline on our part especially after a long day at work but the kids are much happier with more sleep (even though it can sometimes be a battle to get them to stay in bed).

Overtime you will be surprised at how much progress you can make. Try and enjoy the little things in life. Since I'm in medicine, most of my life has been a whirlwind of activity: having kids has forced me to slow down and appreciate life in a new way. One small example, is that the highlight of my week is seeing my kids super excited for the homemade pancakes I make on Saturdays. It gives mom a break :)

Being a father gets better with time and I will say that parenting is the most important and rewarding undertaking of my life, even more so than programming or graduating medical school. Good luck and remember you are not alone there are literally millions of other fathers out there with similar struggles!

alexis_fronJan 2, 2020

It’s the « People are boring » effect, compared to even a Youtube video which is a compacted speech that constantly catches your attention.

However, relationships are also broken, and we should do something about it as much as decrease phone usage. I’m not sure which way is the causation here, but countless times I have told my needs to people/relatives (I need to avoid being constantly put down as a man, specifically, I have cleaned my room and I have a six-figure job after all) and people are wired to reject that idea and claim men as a class don’t deserve to be told positive things. I retreat to my phone by despair, not because the phone is interesting. More recently I have found far-right friends, but again, it’s just because they respect me, not because it’s awesome: It’s a palliative, not a solution.

It’s discussed in the book « The boy crisis » of Warren Farrell (former president of NOW, the National Organization for Women), but hey, people claim he is « controversial » so no-one’s gonna take it into account.

Men — need — some — love. Or they’ll find it elsewhere.

howmayiannoyyouonNov 3, 2020

Anyone interested in the impact this has on children (especially boys) should read "The Boy Crisis" by John Gray PhD. ( https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Crisis-Boys-Struggling-About/dp/1... ).

Tl;dr ... A disproportionate share of seriously troubled boys share an alienated, minimized or absent father in common. The worthwhile and well intentioned effort to right the wrongs of past discrimination of women has traveled a bridge too far. Tragic unintended consequences plague children of divorce, working men, and stay-at-home fathers. This cause-effect is an inconvenient truth, ignored because its not politically correct or advantageous to raise the issue.

Speaking for myself as someone who spent 8 years and about $300,000 to have an equal role in my children's lives... you can watch the damage this has on your children change them over time. Resignation, external locus of control, etc. are all divorce-induced impacts on kids who must endure the back and forth.

Brutal stuff.

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