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Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn - great book about mindfulness written in a style that's very easy to digest.

raptitude.com is a great source of articles to remind you of the things that were compelling to you at any point about mindfulness and/or meditation. I also recommend the spin off http://campcalm.com if you're interested in meditation in particular.

If you're after books specifically, "Wherever you go, there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn is also good.

I like how most people here have a fiction and non-fiction book on the go at the same time. Not just me then :)

Currently reading The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck, after finishing East of Eden, which I loved. On the non-fiction front I'm reading Big Data by Kenneth Cukier and Viktor Mayer-Schönberger and Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Both interesting and compelling in their own ways.

I'm not a doctor, of course, but for those who are depressed, but where it's not debilitating, or where you are not suffering from some kind of clinical depression where you need medical attention, I highly recommend that you immediately purchase the book "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, and put that information into practice as soon as you can.

I read something in an article recently that feels relevant: "respect your 9-to-5." If I am a developer for 40 hours per week and then add more coding and learning on top of that without a deep drive and clear vision (and healthy structure), I will risk burn-out. I have found it more helpful to consider whether what I need is really more meaningful doings, verses taking time to grow spiritually. Around the world there are classes and meetups on topics like Buddhism, meditation and mindfulness that don't ask any standard supernatural religious beliefs or devotions of you. I got a lot of introductory information from Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

I also think coding for a living matters to you: you are important and coding provides your basic necessities. I know it's tempting for us to seek ways to code for a better world, but there are tons of devs worldwide already working at this. Hopefully some will comment here with good projects they need help with! But locally, offline, there are likely many things we can do with our time and our strength.

A follow-up to these I would recommend: Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

You described pretty well the kind of thing I went through several years back. It really changed my life in every way possible for the better.

Stick with it. It's tough sometimes, but it'll only get better!

EDIT: I recommend starting with "Wherever You Go, There You Are" -- then following up with "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron, be sure to get the audiobook AND the paperback. Really listen to it/read it. Then any book that teaches you to be responsible for yourself, you can pick from a million, straight up from Thoreau.

I don't agree with 100% transparency of every little thing in relationships, but I believe that feeling that you COULD is critical. Learning that you don't have to hide who you are, that you can form relationships by being open, is tremendously liberating.

One of my first guides was a book called Wherever You Go, There You Are.

I learned how to do breath focus meditation and started practicing it several times per day for about a minute at a time, whenever I caught myself annoyed or waiting.

This is like the 5-pound weights of meditation that helped me learn to control my attention.

From there, I looked for more books, guides, and teachers, and tried to learn something from each one. I've heard it said that a good teacher can teach any student, and a good student can learn from any teacher, and I've tried to be the latter.

Just like physical exercise, meditation is a practice, not a knowledge.

You can absolutely find people more qualified for book recommendations on the subject than me, but here are a few:

"Confession of a Buddhist Atheist" by Stephon Batchelor. Useful to me for understanding the cultural context of Buddhism.

Insight Meditation by Joseph Goldstein. I just find Goldstein's style the easiest to comprehend in a field that often comes across as frustratingly esoteric

Wherever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn. I thought this book is interesting because it draws parallels to Western authors, particularly Thoreau.

Sam Harris's "Waking Up" app may also be worth a listen. Besides the actual mindfulness practice, there are a lot of discussions on theory and he has conversations with a variety of people that come to the topic from different perspectives.

I can relate to your situation, because I was there a few years ago, at a similar age. Please forgive me for offering some unsolicited advice.

I highly recommend meditation. A helpful book I started with is called Wherever You Go, There You Are. I'm now getting into The Mind Illuminated, and I think it is also good. The subreddits /r/meditation and /r/TheMindIlluminated are informative, at the moment.

When you find the time, which can be difficult when you are working a job, try forcing yourself into social interactions. For example, chatting with people at cafe or at the train station, volunteering, and meetups.

Also, I found myself feeling like I've been Tom Sawyered just a little bit with the job thing. If I could go back in time and tell myself not to sweat the job thing so much, I would.