On Amazon, I'm seeing 'Radical Acceptance: Awakening the Love that Heals Fear and Shame' from 2003 and 'Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha' from 2004. Is the newer edition much different, apart from a presumably more fashionable subtitle?

A related book that I found very helpful is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It introduced to me the idea of "self-compassion" which has been much more beneficial to me than self-esteem, and has also discusses meditation as a way to better understand one's self.

Fiction:

1. Flowers for Algernon - Daniel Keyes
because it's so beautifully written and made me experience a flood of emotions.

2. The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Again, a very touching, charming book about a little kid's world(universe?) view, told through his adventures.

Non-fiction:

1. The subtle art of not giving a F*ck - Mark Manson
Opened my eyes to what I was possibly doing wrong with my life.

2. Radical Acceptance - Tara Brach
Still currently reading it, but I wish I'd found it earlier.

I’ve found myself asking the same question, particularly from the perspective of learned helplessness. Having experienced now some modest amount of self-acceptance, I’ve found that one good marker of it is empowerment.

Do you feel like you’re standing on a reliable foundation, and able to exert some leverage to achieve your goals? Or do you feel that you’re best off not striving? Those look like two opposite ends of a spectrum to me.

For me, self-acceptance leads directly to empowerment. I feel like my goals are legitimate and worthy of effort. It feels like the energy I might otherwise direct at inward discontent is free instead for other things.

Helplessness feels inert. I feel ok not striving for my [unachievable] goals.

Consider reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It’s written exactly for this.

Speaking of compassion for yourself, I also often feel lonely and depressed. Somebody once suggested that I read "Radical Acceptance", a book by Tara Brach. I've only managed to read part of it before putting it down. I couldn't really agree with some of the arguments in the book (e.g. people in the West having more self-acceptance problems due to biblical story of the original sin). YMMV.

Tara Brach - Radical Acceptance was a game changer. Otherwise : trying to focus on having enough sleep (i.e. staying away from screen at night + enough exercise). Trying to put things into perspective (curiously reading history books helped me). Better organization of my time to be more focused on what really matter (check out Cal Newport books and newsletter). Hope this helps !

Yeah! Breathing meditations are definitely the right place to start, but there’s really rich stuff after that.

You can kind of view Buddhism as a three step process: the breathing/physical meditation techniques are for learning to direct your attention, and calm yourself down enough that you can pay attention to bodily sensations/your feelings. The next is getting acquainted with your patterns, identity the maladaptive bits, and use various meditations to train your mind into different patterns. The final phase is the more woo-sounding stuff about ego death and no self, and I don’t pretend to have a handle on it.

Some great introductory books: “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach, which is pretty much anti-self esteem. This was personally the most useful to me.

“Peace is Every Step” by Thich Naht Hanh is a great intro, too, followed by “The Heart of the Buddha’s Teachings.” If you want something that is minimal woo, “Buddhism Without Belief” is pretty great.

Also, the center I’m peripherally involved in is The Florida Community of Mindfulness, based in Tampa. They’ve moved all of their programming to zoom since the pandemic. Practicing meditation with other people is probably the most useful thing you can do. No doubt there are other centers near you, and it might make sense to invest in them, but might be worth watching a couple of saved dharma talks, or tuning into a Sunday service (10am EST). The teacher at FCM, Fred Epsteiner, is very well regarded, though. Tbh I get kind of triggered by older white dudes giving me advice, but lots of people like him. :)

Necessarily an incomplete list, because I haven't kept close track. 2016 was busy and much of what I read was programming language related, which I will exclude here.

In no particular order...

Cixin Liu -- The Three-Body Problem, The Dark Forest. Good read, as you'll see on everyone else's list.

Neal Stephenson -- Seveneves. Really good but arguably his weakest in some time; I wish the first three-quarters of the book were shorter and the final quarter a book in and of itself.

Cal Newport -- So Good They Can't Ignore You. I found this longer than necessary but an excellent kick in the pants.

Marcus Aurelius -- Meditations. Feels like a good "life reference" rather than a straight-through read.

Roald Dahl -- Boy, Going Solo. These were fun when I first went through them years ago, and they still _are_ fun, but the lens through which I view live has become one increasingly allergic to entitlement, and boy, if you want entitlement, look to the Brits at the end of the imperialist era.

Ed Catmull -- Creativity, Inc. Read this for work. Enjoyable but ehh.

Peter Tompkins -- The Secret Life of Plants (unfinished). I tried but couldn't get past the rampant bad science.

Steve Martin -- Born Standing Up. This was a fun profile of a comic that I appreciate; if you're already a fan it's worthwhile, otherwise skip it.

Derek Sivers -- Anything You Want. You can blow through this in a day and you should.

Worth highlighting, my most influential read this year:

Tara Brach -- Radical Acceptance. I loved this. No: I _needed_ this. Rather than the many philosophy-influenced books you'll find in this thread that are really business books with new buzzwords, this is just about loving yourself and building on that to live life fully. This will not (at least directly) help you build a startup. This will (directly) help you build important relationships.

If you struggle to get diverse voices inside your field, maybe you should read from diverse voices outside your field. I understand it is hard and I also gravitate towards comfortable reading, usually meaning from people that look like me. This is the problem. Start being accountable to yourself about it.

2 of 19 the books in the list are by female authors (both recommended by women). Looking for some good books from women? Check out these:

Nonfiction:

* Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach

* The Death and Life of Great American Cities, Jane Jacobs

* Freedom Is a Constant Struggle, Angela Davis

* Rising Strong, Brené Brown

* Cleopatra, Stacy Shiff

* The New Jim Crow, Michelle Alexander

Fiction:

* Anything by Ursula Le Guin

* Ancillary Justice, Ann Leckie

* Too Like the Lightning, Ada Palmer

* Citizen: An American Lyric, Claudia Rankine

... so many more

Two books that really helped me were Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) and Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach). The specific techniques outlined in the books were helpful, but I benefited more from the mentality that you can communicate the same message in multiple tones and receive different results. Some of my colleagues have also done improv comedy courses and experienced the same outcomes.

I also received some pretty sound advice around three years into my career: "just assume that people mean nothing more or less than the literal words they said to you. Don't read more into it than they actually say." I found that if I felt awkward about a situation, I was trying to read in between lines to find some reason that a person secretly hated me or were annoyed by me. They had never actually said or done anything to indicate that they even thought twice about me once I walked away, but I made up all sorts of stories about them in my head.

“What is my body trying to tell me with that tight stomach, sunken heart, clenched shoulders?”

I have been reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and this is one of the themes that keeps repeating in that book and in general in meditation. To understand one's mind and the root cause of an emotion one need to focus the attention on how one's body feels and what it's trying to say. While meditation is now widely accepted as beneficial, I have generally been less accepting or even dismissive of the surrounding teachings and method. I think it's time to revisit my views and be more open to it.