Hacker News Books

Same, had a feeling you read that book haha.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida is a great follow-up. The guru stuff is sometimes overwhelming, but there are good ideas in that book.

There is also a fantastic summary/teaser of the book on FightMediocrity (YouTube channel).

1) The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
2) Headhunters Hiring Secrets by Skip Freeman

Robert Bly’s Iron John is a phenomenal book on masculinity. What a shame the Mythopoetic Men’s Movement didn’t go anywhere and we instead got the RedPillers.

FWIW, also, this book along with Way of The Superior Man by David Deida, and How to Make Friends and Influence People were staples of the PUA Scene reading list circa 2008.

The 9 books mentioned in the video are as follows:

1. Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

2. The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss

3. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

4. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

5. The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

6. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

7. Mastery by George Leonard

8. Mindfulness for Beginners by Jon Kabat-Zinn

9. The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday

I love this and yet it brings up a conundrum for me: explorative learning seems to be more effective, and yet people seem to want prescriptive learning.

I see a lot of people, myself included, clicking on the "how to" links, even though they almost never help me. I've seen this struggle with self-help books even more so.

Any suggestions on how to make explorative learning more sexy in marketing? Oh no, I just asked for a prescription! Perhaps I should just explore and figure out what works for me lol.

Again, I find when I explore and play with different solutions, I learn MUCH faster and more appropriately.

Anyway, grateful to have read this tonight to remind myself to stop reading so much stuff. Reminds me of reading a book by David Deida, I think The Way of the Superior Man, and in one chapter he said that we have all the answers we need within ourselves and then I paused and asked myself, "So why am I reading this book again?"

Thank you for this spark tonight :-)

Great article and interesting perspective. I think the best counter to Steve's opinions can be found in the book The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It is just a truism of life that if you are a man, your work must be the most important thing in your life and to be truly fulfilled you "must pursue your truth and give your gift to the world". Steve Pavlina has also stated this here:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/how-to-be-a-man/
If your wife or gf is the most important thing in your life, you are weak willed and are deceiving yourself. Believe it or not, your wife or gf doesn't want to be the most important thing your life!

> A lot of this can be interpreted as a way to shun yourself from the world and not face reality. But can't anyone do that with anything helpful?

There are lots of texts on rising above worldly pleasures, and some are very good. I'm a particular fan of Ekhart Tolle's work, and I enjoyed the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying... The Tao of Pooh, and the Te of Piglet got me through a difficult adolescence.

As with any idea, though, simplifying it too far tends to lose important subtleties. The mental austerity mentioned in the original post is likely to strike a resonant chord with many men who wished they had better self-control, and who wished they were acting with more general agency in their life. Men are complete suckers for certain ideals of manhood, certain archetypes that are well presented. If this is something that interests you, I can strongly recommend the books Iron John by Robert Bly, King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore, and the excellent Way of The Superior Man by David Deida.

I find this quote by Alan Watts particularly poignant, and perhaps an antidote to the original post:

"We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERbvKrH-GC4)

Do you have any goals outside of work - not like vacations but something that is a challenge and requires skill building?

Are you dating?

I'd recommend reading "The Way of the Superior Man" [1]. One of the things that's stuck with me from the book is that no one ever feels like they've "made it". Even if you do feel like you get to the point, like you have, you suddenly become miserable as there's nothing left to strive for. We need some driver in our lives that push us forward.

The author also makes the claim where everyone should have an hour per day to focus on something they want to do. It helps give you direction and purpose. I know the times when I've done this, I've enjoyed work and life a lot more than the times where I haven't.

[1] http://amzn.com/B004A8ZWM4

HN and tech spheres can tend to have more people (especially male) who struggle with socialising with others and romance on top of every other part of the human condition. To that end, I recommend (in order):

Robert Glover - No More Mr. Nice Guy
Mark Manson - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
Mark Manson - Models

For those looking into reading into masculinity (to understand yourself or other masculine people:

David Deida - The Way of the Superior Man
Moore & Gillette - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover
Zan Perrion- The Alabaster Girl

Disclaimer: Some of these books I recommend are not going to be based on much research and science, or delve into more abstract forms of thought and draw inspiration from other sources (e.g. Eastern). Nevertheless I believe they are useful frameworks of thought that can provide value, and it's good to engage more "mythical" ideas at times.

I recommend The Way of the Superior Man (http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/...). My roommate lent it to me after an ugly breakup. The title is a little silly (I certainly wouldn't describe myself as "spiritual") and I don't agree with every word of it, but after reading this book I finally felt like I understood women and relationships, and I met my now-wife a few months after reading it. I doubt I would have gotten her without it.

IMHO to really change your whole life perspective, you must experience a traumatic event, not reading a book.

Anyway I would say that a book can trigger a change of perspective on a particular aspect of your life:

'4-hour workweek' - Tim Ferriss (on lifestyle)

'Get Things Done' - David Allen (on organization and productivity)

'The Way of the Superior Man' - David Deida (on relationships)

'The prince' - Machiavelli' (on business and strategy)

'The little prince' - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (on meaning of life)

'The Feynman Lectures on Physics' - Richard Feynman' (to make you remember that you are just average)

A lot of other books had broaden my perspective of life even if they weren't enough to trigger a change. That list would be immense.

IMHO to really change your whole life perspective, you must experience a traumatic event, not reading a book.

Anyway I would say that a book can trigger a change of perspective on a particular aspect of your life:

'4-hour workweek' - Tim Ferriss (on lifestyle)

'Get Things Done' - David Allen (on organization and productivity)

'The Way of the Superior Man' - David Deida (on relationships)

'The prince' - Machiavelli' (on business and strategy)

'The little prince' - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (on meaning of life)

'The Feynman Lectures on Physics' - Richard Feynman' (to remember you to be humble)

A lot of other books had broaden my perspective of life even if they weren't enough to trigger a change. That list would be immense.

"Let"? As in .. you have to ask?

Be "the man." Take "the risk." She will follow you. (Otherwise, dump her.)

Also, read "The Way of the Superior Man" (and/or other books) by David Deida. It will be one of the better investments you will make in your life.

PS. There's a reason San Francisco's dead-last in (_heterosexual_) sex, young children and babies per capita:
(Hint: can be elucidated from the following article)
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/No_Sex_Tonight_2