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RegardsyjconSep 25, 2018
Learning DBT skills (The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Handbook) helped me a lot too especially emotional regulation.
Having an amazing therapist who was supportive as well as a professional and personal support network helped too.
I have borderline and I think working on myself has ironically made me a much better communicator. So there's hope.
I don't know if this is the right explanation but I think someone with BPD is essentially a burn victim except with feelings. I am super sensitive and extreme. You're either amazing or the worst person in the world. When things get bad, I don't have any memory of good times. I can only see black or white- no grey.
This comes from my childhood. My parents were extremely abusive. My dad told me to kill myself when I was suicidal. That's how I survived my childhood. I needed a clean slate and forget all the bad things. Today it hurts me more than it helped me then.
In the past when I got upset, it was instantly I think we should break up. The pain whatever it was, was intolerable. And all those break up pains add up. Not only do they hurt me, but it hurt my partners. And I didn't feel like I could survive the feeling of being broken up with, so I was always trying to protect myself by breaking up first. It's still my first instinct whenever I get a whiff of something going bad - shit, do I need to end this? But now I keep it to myself. I wait. I put my crazy emotions together. Talk calmly. Use a lot of I statements. When you did this, it made me feel this. I'm lucky to have a ridiculously supportive partner. I think he's an alien or at least superhuman. We've never raised our voices at each other once since we've been together except to say I can't hear you from the bathroom haha.
I've gotten a lot better. I'm still working on myself. I hope this helps a little and I wish you and your girlfriend the best.
https://www.verywellmind.com/support-empathy-truth-set-for-b...