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This is very direct and honest, thank you!

You make a very good point. Whatever I manage to build is going to be experimental.

You're also right that therapy is a common way to create that self awareness, but it's not the only way. Some techniques work well without a guide like meditation and journalling, and others require a little guidance but nothing as in-depth as therapy (Byron Katie's Work and Sedona Method are two that I've personally found very effective).

It's easy to look at those construction workers and think "Wow, those dudes have real jobs" because they get to build huge skyscrapers or subways.

But they're looking right back at you thinking the same exact thing, because you get to work on your laptop in an air conditioned office and don't go home smelling like sweat, dirt, and fumes.

There's a great quote from Bud Smith's book Work that has much better wording with the same idea, but I can't find it

Some people are inherently unhappy but also keep an eye out for unhappiness caused by misalignment, misunderstanding, or disengagement relating to feelings of disempowerment.

Compensation is important up to a point but nobody likes feeling like they are wasting their time and powerless to make positive change.

> No one likes to do Oncall or operational or migration work or deal with mess left by earlier group.

No one likes doing these things if they don't see the point, if there's no buy-in and the work is just a directive from above, if everybody feels like they are treading water and not making any progress, etc...

There are too many possible contributing factors to list them all but most solutions involve listening, communicating, and making small changes that compound over time.

Build teams that: make progress, understand why their work is important, have meaningful feedback loops.

Some good starting points:

[1] The Management Flywheel - https://skamille.medium.com/the-management-flywheel-c076f398...

[2] Work is Work (In which returns diminish) - https://codahale.com/work-is-work/

[3] Model, document and share - https://lethain.com/model-document-share/

[4] Why limiting work-in-progress works - https://lethain.com/limiting-wip/