Robert Cialdini's book Influence seems to be a pretty good place to get started with this topic. He cites a lot of scientific studies, and also provides some anecdotal examples to keep things interesting.

Sounds like they learn from Influence by Caldini. Ask for a far-fetched goal then conceded to what you want originally.

Cialdini's book on Influence seems relevant here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Influence:_Science_and_Practice

Edit: It's referenced in the article but that link points to Amazon.

I've read Influence - great book. What do you think the difference is?

Actually I've read this (in a more elaborate version) in either Priceless or Influence (maybe even some hints in Scientific Advertising). Which are two very good reads if you are in anything related to sales, money or almost anything else. It's something I've applied many times and works wonders.

Check out Influence by Teremok Games on Android. Nicely done hex-based strategy game, and one of the best Android games I've played period.

This is the scarcity tactic straight out of Influence by Robert Cialdini. Its a hardwired response that works on a lot of people.

Good book to raise your awareness about how you're being manipulated by sales and marketing.

https://www.influenceatwork.com/principles-of-persuasion/

Read Influence by Cialdini. Take an improv class. Find some mentors with skills orthogonal to you. Learn to be fine with being uncomfortable as you learn and get feedback.

Read 'Getting to Yes' and 'Bargaining to Advantage' for more specifics about this discussion. I think everyone should read them. It doesn't hurt to include 'Influence.'

It's Influence by Bob Cialdini. I've also read How to Win Friends and Influence people, and it's very weak in comparison. The Cialdini book is rigorously researched and backed by science.

Influence is the most thought-provoking, and occasionally uncomfortable, book I've read in years. Absolutely loved it. Friends got sick of me recounting the anecdotes from the book, because I just couldn't stop talking about it.

I think one of the most remarkable demonstrations of this I know of is a study I remember seeing referenced somewhere (maybe "Influence" by Cialdini) that showed that people are more likely to cross a road on a red light if someone in a suit crosses it first.

Very cool, didn't know that. I hadn't gotten around to reading Influence yet, but I'll probably do that this weekend.

Thanks!

Influence was a great book, but it is a bit outdated (in my opinion). Predictably Irrational and his other books were much more relevant. Thinking Fast and Slow was the best one of then all.

Relating this to Cialdini's Influence, I'd wager this is due to reciprocity. Whether real or not, when you apologize, you're making a concession which triggers the "click, whirr" effect described in the book. Persuasion is a fascinating topic.

I read in Influence [0] by Cialdini that telling people you're going to do something actually makes it more likely you will because you feel consistency pressure

[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini

* Total Freedom by J Krishnamurti

* Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

* Wit and Wisdom from Poor Richard's Almanack by
Benjamin Franklin

* Influence by Robert B. Cialdini

I've read both and Influence is far more useful if you're trying to, well, influence someone. The art of influencing is complex and involves more than just a few behavioral economics insights. Influence is a total framework for understanding the psychology and emotions of selling.

TL;DR -

This is a list of important publications in computer science, organized by field.

Some reasons why a particular publication might be regarded as important:

1) Topic creator – A publication that created a new topic

2) Breakthrough – A publication that changed scientific knowledge significantly

3) Influence – A publication which has significantly influenced the world or has had a massive impact on the teaching of computer science.

I'm a fan of
- Moz.com hosts an overwhelming amount of information.
- Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath
- UnMarketing by Scott Stratten
- Influence by Robert Cialdini
- Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff

While it's focused on kids, you might find some additional ideas in this article: http://kidscreen.com/2013/08/12/marketing-to-kids-and-famili...

Echo all of the resources jkuria posted, plus 'Influence' is a must read.

I'll be releasing a Sales 101 online course soon that's aimed at developers shortly if you're interested.

Books on interacting with people.

How to Win Friends and Influence People. - Dale Carnegie

Influence - Robert Cialdini

Books on understanding how to push through adversity

The Obstacle Is The Way - Ryan Holiday

Man's Search For Meaning - Victor Frankly

Books on process improvement

The Phoenix Project

The Four Hour Work Week - Tim Ferriss (ignore the outsourcing bit, listen to his podcast)

Books on breaking out of your thought bubble.

Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell

Ishmael - David Quinn

Books for understanding how sales works

Ultimate Sales Machine - Chet Holmes

Negotiate As If Your Life Depended on It - Chris Voss

Any of these books are great starts. If the leadership big bites you there's way more I can suggest. Most of these are a mix of classics and new stuff. I've read them all and they want have their own style and provide their own insight. The trick is to find out what parts work with how you do and incorporate them into your flow. The learning process never ends.

Leaving Microsoft to Change the World - John Wood, Influence - Robert Cialdini, The Black Swan - Nassim Nicholas Taleb, Moments of Truth - Jan Carlzon

Category 1:

- Simple Heuristics That Make Use Smart by Gigerenzer, et al. (http://www.amazon.com/Simple-Heuristics-That-Make-Smart/dp/0...). I have heard good things about this book but have not read it yet.

Category 2:

- Think Twice by Mauboussin (http://www.amazon.com/Think-Twice-Harnessing-Power-Counterin...)

- Influence by Cialdini (http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Busine...)

Category 3:

- You already mentioned Michalko, but his other book, Thinkertoys, is also very good (http://www.amazon.com/Thinkertoys-Handbook-Creative-Thinking...)

Category 5:

- Switch by the Heath brothers is excellent (http://www.amazon.com/Switch-Change-Things-When-Hard/dp/0385...)

My top priority books:

    Software Requirements - Karl Wiegers

    Programming TypeScript - Boris Cherny

    Associate Cloud Engineer Study - Dan Sullivan

    Design Patterns - Gang of Four

    Refactoring - Kent Beck, Martin Fowler

    Programming Pearls - Jon Bentley

    Patterns of Enterprise Application Architecture - Martin Fowler

    The Pragmatic Programmer - David Thomas, Andrew Hunt

    CSS: The Definitive Guide - Eric A. Meyer, Estelle Weyl

    Working Effectively with Legacy Code - Michael Feathers

    Head First Design Patterns - Eric Freeman, Bert Bates

    Code Complete - Steve McConnell

    Peopleware - Tim Lister, Tom DeMarco

    Clean Code - Robert C. Martin

    The Clean Coder - Robert C. Martin

    Clean Architecture - Robert C. Martin

    Don't Make Me Think - Steve Krug

    Functional Design Patterns for Express.js - Jonathan Lee Martin

    The Surrender Experiment - Michael A. Singer

The best books I've ever read:

    Principles - Ray Dalio

    The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

    The Effective Executive - Peter F. Drucker

    Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

    Extreme Ownership - Jocko Willink, Leif Babin

    Influence - Robert B. Cialdini

    The Startup Way - Eric Ries

    The Lean Startup - Eric Ries

    12 Rules for Life - Jordan B. Peterson

    Measure What Matters - John Doerr, Larry Page

    The Fish That Ate the Whale - Rich Cohen

    The E-Myth Revisited - Michael E. Gerber

    The Score Takes Care of Itself - Bill Walsh, Steve Jamison, Craig Walsh

    Management - Peter F. Drucker

    Thinking in Systems - Donella H. Meadows

    Blue Ocean Strategy - W. Chan Kim, Renee Mauborgne

For many kinds of business discussions, being able to read emotions is even more important than with interpersonal discussions. Many business discussions involve selling ideas, selling products, understanding concerns, and so on. Once someone says something, they tend to dogmatically stick to that, even in the face of clear evidence that their position was wrong[1]. This phenomenon is even more pronounced when they write something. Whenever someone needs to have their mind changed, writing is the worst way to go about it!

[1] Consider reading a book like Influence by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D. which has all kinds of fascinating studies about how people act in surprisingly illogical ways based on what they write. The book cites a number of studies on this issue of irrational consistency, and how it is routinely exploited in situations ranging from sales to indoctrination.

Having just read the book Influence by Cialdini, this strikes me as perfect use of the social proof principle, regardless of if the numbers are real of not. "Hey, this app has a million users, it must be pretty good".

Personally, I couldn't register. Keeps saying I have no network yet other apps work fine.

Slowly making my way through The Timeless Way of Building by Christopher Alexander. Also reading Essentialism by Greg McKeown, and Influence by Robert Cialdini.

Basic sales premise, people buy from people they know and like. The same is true in recruiting talent. Getting referred into a job opportunity, implies the stamp of social proof and reciprocity.

Recommend reading Influence by Robert Cialdini > http://www.amazon.com/Robert-B.-Cialdini/e/B000AP9KKG

It says something about the disparity of intellectual depth in the community that Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged shows up next to books actually worth reading like SICP, GTD, or Cialdini's Influence.

In addition to the filtering element, this strategy probably has a long term benefit. Those who reject the offer and join are likely to stay committed and enthusiastic in order to be consistent with their original decision. The desire to be consistent is a hugely powerful force - read Influence by Robert Cialdini if you're interested.

If you're debating you've already lost the debate. The effective way to win a debate is not to have one. You either convince the other person the idea was theirs, which is easier than it sounds, or you get them to argue your point for you at which point it is their idea. Learning how to do this takes effort and a willingness to realize how little one truly knows about the art of effective speaking. You'll also begin to recognize when other people are manipulating you using this method. A really quick trick for this method is to start a conversation with something the person said and then say that what they said gave you your idea. Very few people won't take the compliment, you'll immediately validate their who ego and intelligence, and they'll immediately feel like you owe than something which means they'll want to be around you more. A good book as a primer for this is Influence by Cialdini.

Here's the kicker it even works when the person knows you're doing it. So it was good you brought this idea up, it allowed us to have a really good conversation about it and explore it more fully.

Amusingly human, if I may add. Reading "Thinking, fast and slow", by Daniel Kahneman, one key idea that I got was that even knowing against biases you are very, very likely to suffer from those biases. Disheartening results were gathered from studies done on well-trained psychologists and people prepared for the experiment, to no avail. Can't remember the details right now, but just read the book, it's awesome. Another good one was "Influence" by Cialdini, but they gave you tips on trying to avoid those biases that, upon reading Kahneman, I don't think anymore that are very useful.

it comes down to brand and articulating that brand in an unique way so that it is news.

ok here are some ideas:
1. This is an idea from a book "The Summer Kitchen". In there the lady opens a pastry shop in a rich neighborhood. The grand opening they do a mother daughter cupcake party since their brand is we are family. they do a whole lot of other things - a good read.

2. Per the book "Feeding the Media Beast", news is something that is new, not ordinary. Duh. So what can you do that would say you are not ordinary. I was reading an article about a bakery that made a doughnut cupcake and had a cupcake that was smothered with maple syrup and bacon. This was reported in last week's Boston Sunday Globe. Yes that makes definitely stand out. Plus they made sure that they ONLY sold these maple bacon cupcakes on the weekend. As the book "Influence" says use scarcity to attract.

3. First you need to identify who is your ideal customer profile. Who is coming to your shop? Why? They are not just coming because of pastries. help them maximize this experience. make it an experience. How can you help make not just a trip to the pastry but something more.

4. As in the book "The Entrepreneur's Manual", he speaks about a barber who started a barber shop that gives free drink with a haircut. Yes it became widely successful. Then he realized that the guys were stuck with the kids since the family comes together into town to shop so he provides a free baby sitter while you get the haircut and provides a barber especially for kids. then he realizes that women want to get the free baby sitter too so opens a womens shop. This book is the bomb. The Gap analysis in here is terrific. Do the gap analysis for the pastry shop - see what is missing.

Hope this helps.

Enthusiasm and honesty go a long way. The most important trait to exhibit would be confidence. Luckily, creating confidence is easy, you just fake it until it catches on. Sure, you can read more in-depth articles about "finding things you like about yourself" and "positive mantras", but if you just go out intending to appear confident, you will in fact become confident. I pay a lot of attention to the way that people speak. If you stutter and say "um" or "uh" a lot, you will sound unimpressive regardless of the topic.

The other comments in this thread have the books nailed down. "How to win friends and influence people" and "Influence" are largely considered the best books on the topic. I'm very interested in body language which is very related. If you force yourself to stand confidently, you'll feel it as well the others around you. I found "What Every BODY is Saying" a lot of fun although it's not quite as full of information.

Personally I've also found that I like to mix a little psychology books into my business readings, here are a couple that I personally liked: Influence - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002BD2UUC/ref=kinw_myk_ro_... and What every BODY is saying - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0010SKSTO/ref=docs-os-doi_...

You don't go to the lawyer to sue your employer. You go there to understand your legal position. This gives you leverage in negotiations.

The way you use that leverage is then explain why you feel something is not fair. In a professional context, you can explain your position in legal terms when you take a compassionate, kind stance, smile and analytically explain the situation from both sides.

It's no more different than handling a code review.

Now, two things can happen: Either your employer is amazed that you both created a new product AND can navigate business negotiations. This is good for your career (unless your employer is an idiot).

Note that creating a new product that people love increases your market worth tremendously (unless you are already at a fairly well compensated level).

Traditionally the simplest way to compensate employees has been to give them a raise. Hint - you could ask this :)

The funny thing a higher pay grade does is that suddenly management will respect you more (we pay him x dollars so he must be awesome).

Or, the second case: you find out your employers 'mr. Niceguy' culture is actually a charade to fool people working at below market rates. At which point the fate of your sideproject totally depends on the legal feedback you received. And it would be better for you to find a better employer.

There are really good books on negotiation and influence. I suggest you read them when you have the time. Examples: Cialdini, 'Influence'. Voss, 'Never split the difference'.

Interesting to see Influence so high, but Predictably Irrational not listed at all. I've heard Influence is a really great book, but from a quick skim it seems like Predictably Irrational covers the subject matter as least as well if not better. I'd be happy to hear the opinion of someone who has actually read both.

Never split the difference : Chris Voss [0] &
Start with No : Jim Camp [1] opened my eyes to tactics used by sales/"business" folks when they negotiate with me and provided some tips which help me in my own negotiations. Case in point: A car dealer mentioned to me casually that a car whose MRP is AUD 38800 would never be discounted below 34000. I took it as a psychological "anchor" that had to be explored and negotiated rather than agreed upon without discussion. Started with a random figure of 32349 and ended up with getting the car for 33500 ( given that it was my first negotiation, I think it's a win :-) )

Influence by Cialdini is a timeless classic that helps me appreciate the fascinating world of human psychology

[0] https://www.amazon.in/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Dep...

[1] https://www.amazon.in/Start-No-Negotiating-Tools-That/dp/060...

So many, and I wish I could write a long paragraph on each, but I'm unfortunately short on time. I'm posting any in case just one person who hasn't heard of those checks them out and gets value:

-Godel, Escher, Bach (Douglas Hosfstadter)

-The Mindbody Prescription (John E. Sarno, completely cured my long-term crippling RSI that kept me from using computers and was ruining my life)

-Feeling Good (Dr. Burns, cognitive therapy mostly centered on depression, but I want to learn about this before I have depression so that I can avoid it and do 'maintenance' on myself)

-The 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman, made me understand a lot more about how people express and receive love, and the problems that arise from mismatched languages in relationships)

-Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman (you guys probably already know this)

-The Blank Slate (Steven Pinker)

-The Snowball (Warren Buffett biography)

-Influence (Robert B. Cialdini)

-Your Money or Your Life (Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin)

-When Heaven and Earth Changed Places: A Vietnamese Woman's Journey from War to Peace (Le Ly Hayslip)

-The Halo Effect (Phil Rosenzweig)

-The LessWrong.com sequences on rationality

Influence by Cialdini

4 Steps to the Epiphany is a phenomenal book on selling new b2b IT products.

Secrets of Question-based Selling is the best consultative sales book

SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham is also quite good

Tested Advertising Methods and Scientific Advertising continue to be two of the best books on copywriting, despite being very old.

"Marketing" is a broad term; it's like saying 'what's a good book on software engineering?' What are you wanting to learn about marketing? There are interesting books that give you lots of tactics for early-stage startups (Traction by Gabriel Weinberg, for example); books that tell how to think about Brand Strategy (for example, Building a Story Brand by Donald Miller); books that delve into psychology (Influence by Robert Cialdini); and many other things. Marketing encompasses high-level strategy, brand, research, market sizing, messaging, positioning, product marketing, social media, content marketing, PR and earned media, grassroots marketing, and the list goes on. Within each of these topics there are many different approaches and philosophies. High-level pop books will be fairly light on how each of these work.

I love James' articles and this is from one of my all time favourites. Both the scene and his commentary are brilliant.

8Mile's last battle is truly a visual reference for Influence, by Cialdini and The Art of Human Hacking, by C. Hadnagy.

As Jordan Belfort puts it, "The only real objection is that they don't trust you".

I think the skill sets needed are highly dependent on the type of sale. The approaches used for a cold sale and technical consultations with leads that are already qualified (demonstrated interest in a product/service) are very different.

However, I would start by taking a look into concepts like building rapport, reflective listening, and active listening. You can even look to concepts like social engineering, e.g., priming, elicitation, etc. Most, if not all of these topics, are covered in various books on persuasion/influence.

Be careful though, as you can cross the line towards manipulation really easily easily. That’s not an inherently bad thing if the user wants/needs your product. However, it’s an entirely different story if you are persuading someone to buy something they don’t want/need. For example, a person who comes to buy a car would not be taken advantage of by selling them a car within their budget. It would be taking advantage of someone to persuade them to buy something that they didn’t ask for, was more than they needed, and was more expensive than they could afford.

Another example is the use of the principle of scarcity. While companies/people routinely pressure people into sales via statements like, “I can give this to you for 10% off, but your contract needs to be signed within 5 days due to our end of quarter goals” (yeah, I’m looking at you, Salesforce). The issue here, is that A) Chances are, they’re lying and you could get the same deal on day 6, and/or B) pressuring a customer, in my opinion, is a bit too close to making a light threat intended to spur anxiety in a customer. Everyone has their own levels of moral flexibility, though.

Anyways, I digress. Here are a couple of book recommendations: “Influence” by Robert Cialdini, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss.

Even though I know this isn't a real kitty purring in my ear, I can sense myself feeling relaxed and soothed by this as if it were a drug. I've heard that petting a cat or dog lowers a person's blood pressure. I bet hearing cat purrs does, too. I recently read the book Influence which describes a myriad of ways people and animals have automatic responses to various stimuli; I wonder if this is that kind of thing.

For sure! Our "textbook" was "Influence" by Robert Cialdini. Here's a number of others:

-"Thinking Fast and Slow" by Daniel Khaneman
-"The Undoing Project" by Michael Lewis
-"Fooled by Randomness" and "The Black Swan" by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
-"Pre-suasion" by Cialdini
-"The Moral Animal" by Robert Wright
-"The Most Important Thing" by Howard Marks
-"Everybody Lies" by Seth Stevens-Davidowitz
-"How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big" by Scott Adams
-The "Freakonomics" Trilogy

The One-Minute Manager is a general book on how to appropriately manage people.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a fantastic book on people in general.

Influence is a great book for managing up, or understanding why your people react the way that they do.

The basics for any manager are the following:

1. Know what you're solving for, know what your people are solving for. Make sure that they are in alignment.

2. Invest in your people. Time, money, etc. Not just technical skills, but soft skills. A smile and remembering someone's name go a long way.

3. Keep everything that isn't their job, out of their job. If someone is a bottleneck then there needs to be a defined point in time every week where they do documentation and/or training until they are no longer the bottleneck. Assume it will take other people longer to do the same task at first and accept it, make sure that they understand this is normal.

Edit: I'd also include this blog post in your reading: http://firstround.com/review/this-90-day-plan-turns-engineer...

Some Iconic Business Books I loved and are Worth Reading IMHO.

Use Your Noodle and Get The Boodle (aka Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill - that was his proposed but rejected title),
Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini,
Be My Guest - Conrad Hilton Autobiography,
Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography,
The Success System That Never Fails - W. Clement Stone,
Winning Through Intimidation - Robert Ringer,
Scientific Advertising - Claude Hopkins,
The Ultimate Marketing Plan - Dan Kennedy,
How to Win Friends and influence People - Dale Carnegie,
The Psychology of Intelligence - CIA Manual - Richard Heuer https://www.cia.gov/library/center-for-the-study-of-intellig... ,

There are literally thousands of books worth reading, but the above are the ones I found to be the most enlightening.

Wonderful tips. I never thought of 2 that way.

What I love is spaced repetition of the highlights. I don't do it time based though. I do it based on subject, and this gets a lot more powerful when it's more than one book on a subject.

For example - go through my highlights on Influence (Chialdini), Thinking Fast and Slow, Poor Charlie's Almanac, and think about how they complement each other.

Seeing the same subject from multiple points of view, sometimes conflicting, other times corroborating each other is very helpful to build a more wholesome base of knowledge.

- Yakov Perelman's "Physics for entertainment" was fun, and repeating an experiment at work once almost got me fired

- "Made to stick" by Chip and Dan Heath

- "The Dissapearing Spoon" got me curious about chemistry

-"Uncle Tungsten" by Oliver Sacks got me started on the rest of his books, taking my fascination in chemistry and nudging it towards medicine, neurology and psychology.

- "The Social Animal" and "Influence" showed me more about psychology

- Borrowing a copy of the classic textbook Gray's Anatomy while recuperating from a serious accident showed me how fascinating the human body is

Giant oligopolies are unpleasant to deal with for their own reasons. You want to appear indifferent to any particular sale for the same reason that playing hard to get works in dating: It implies that you are desirable/successful enough to pick and choose your partners.

These strategies take advanage of humans' built-in decision making and survival heuristics. Women like a man who's already taken because they can assume that his current mate has already extensively vetted him for desirability. Anyone who smells desperate trips alarms and gets you wondering why they can't find a mate / job /client.

There's a fine line between putting your best foot forward and cynically manipulating everyone around you of course. Robert Cialdini's book "Influence" shows you where the line is and how to stay on the clean side.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cialdini#Six_.22Weapons_...

(P.S., thanks for prgmr. I enjoy my service.)

Influence by Robert Cialdini. Models by Mark Manson. Eloquent Ruby by Russ Olsen.

* Fooled By Randomness (NN Taleb): Taleb is a complicated personality, but this book gave me a heuristic for thinking about long-tails and uncertain events that I could never have derived myself from a probability textbook.

* Designing Data Intensive Applications (M Kleppmann): Provided a first-principles approach for thinking about the design of modern large-scale data infrastructure. It's not just about assembling different technologies -- there are principles behind how data moves and transforms that transcend current technology, and DDIA is an articulation of those principles. After reading this, I began to notice general patterns in data infrastructure, which helped me quickly grasp how new technologies worked. (most are variations on the same principles)

* Introduction to Statistical Learning (James et al) and Applied Predictive Modeling (Kuhn et al). These two books gave me a grand sweep of predictive modeling methods pre-deep learning, methods which continue to be useful and applicable to a wider variety of problem contexts than AI/Deep Learning. (neural networks aren't appropriate for huge classes of problems)

* High Output Management (A Grove): oft-recommended book by former Intel CEO Andy Grove on how middle management in large corporations actually works, from promotions to meetings (as a unit of work). This was my guide to interpreting my experiences when I joined a large corporation and boy was it accurate. It gave me a language and a framework for thinking about what was happening around me. I heard this was 1 of 2 books Tobi Luetke read to understand management when he went from being a technical person to CEO of Shopify. (the other book being Cialdini's Influence). Hard Things about Hard Things (B Horowitz) is a different take that is also worth a read to understand the hidden--but intentional--managerial design of a modern tech company. These some of the very few books written by practitioners--rather than management gurus--that I've found to track pretty closely with my own real life experiences.

Influence by Robert Cialdini
Grit by Angela Duckworth

In his podcast episode with Tim Ferris he cites again Influence - by Robert B. Cialdini PhD

Robert Cialdini wrote Influence

While others are recommending platforms to practice, here are my 2 cents. Most important asset for a public speaker is "clarity". Clarity of thoughts is a magnet for audience attention. Once you have an audience "connect", anything you say is gold. Clarity of thought can be improved by these two resource books:

1. Art of Argument - Giles St.Aubyn (ISBN 0800803698)
2. Influence - Robert Cialdini (006124189X)

After that, try reading some Bertrand Russell writings. See how your argument and persuasion quality jumps from above resources.

Here are some books I listened to on Audible in the last year and a half, listing those that I enjoyed the most. Each of these books changed me in some ways, I never thought how much fun it is to listen to biographies and how many lessons there are.

0. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

1. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

2. Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future

3. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

4. Steve Jobs: The Exclusive Biography

5. What Got You Here Won't Get You There

6. The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage

7. The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph

8. The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

9. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

10. Pre-Suasion: Channeling Attention for Change

11. Thinking, Fast and Slow

12. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

13. Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

14. Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World

15. Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity

16. Sapiens

17. The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon

18. If you like space: Endurance: A Year in Space, a Lifetime of Discovery

19. Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike

20. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

21. Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

22. The DevOps Handbook: How to Create World-Class Agility, Reliability, and Security in Technology Organizations

Would look into different research regarding managing up, down and across and persuasion more generally. Robert Cialdini has a classic book called Influence I would highly recommend. I think at the management level you're describing, managing disagreements is often about trying to create internal alliances to advance whatever project/policies/changes you think are in the company's best interests.

It also might be that your company has grown to a point where not everyone's self-interest is aligned with the company's best interest. Would recommend Loonshots by Safi Bahcall which explores that idea quite a bit too.

I think part of the "Being treated fairly" is transparency from upper management. If the company is in trouble and they are open and honest about it, and they were previously generous to their employees, then those employees will rise to the call. The book Influence [1] calls this concept Reciprocity, and Peopleware likewise talks about this. It's the same concept that good commanders use to inspire loyalty and trust in their troops.

There are also other ways to compensate an employee that does not necessarily involve a cost, such as flexible hours or work from home.

[1]: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/479628.Influence_Rev_

This year I've read:

Maxims - Epictetus

The road to serfdom - Friedrich Hayek

De officiis - Cicero

De divinatione - Cicero

Lives of eminent philosophers - Diogenes Laertius

Confessions - Al ghazali

Illiad - Homer

Odyssey - Homer

Influence - Robert Cialdini

Guns, Germs and steel - Jared Diamond

Poor Charlie's Almanack - Charlie Munger - 2nd reading

Andrew Carnegie's Biography - Joseph Frazier

Fooled by Randomness - Nassim Taleb - 2nd reading

Bed of Procrustes - Nassim Taleb

Never Split the Difference - Christopher Voss

The intelligent investor - Benjamin Graham

Autobiography - Benjamin Franklin

I always remember this quote:

"In my whole life, I have known no wise people who didn't read all the time -- none, zero." Charlie Munger

Our selections from The 100 Best Business Books of All Time were:

-Selling The Invisible by Harry Beckwith (great look at selling services)
-Secrets of Closing The Sale by Zig Ziglar (gets you prepared for objections)
-How to Become A Rainmaker by Jeffrey Fox (shortcuts to better sales techniques)
-The Little Red Book of Selling by Jeffrey Gitomer (best first book for first time salespeople)

As mentioned in other posts, I would also add SPIN Selling, Mastering the Complex Sale and The Referral Engine.

"Smart" books in the sales space include Influence, Made To Stick, To Sell Is Human.

For motivation, read more Zig, Tony Robbins, and Dale Carnegie.

Social psychology was a big one for me too. Cialdini's book Influence gave me a lot to think about.

The role that biases play in my own thinking. Charlie Munger's speech that was on this site a while ago articulates a lot of things I was beginning to realize (http://vinvesting.com/docs/munger/human_misjudgement.html)

I struggled for a long time with procrastination and low productivity. When I realized that abandoning the parts of my life that were not deeply fulfilling (browsing the web aimlessly, refreshing RSS feeds, wasting time in forums, watching tv etc) would not actually be as painful as I thought it would, it changed how I live and work in a very fundamental way.

Surprisingly much better.

Theory and practice, when done together, is much more powerful than either alone.

Good practice books like "High Output Management", "Influence", "Hard Things about Hard Things" gives you a view of what other people at other (high-functioning) organizations do and exposes you to the norms in industry. They also give you mental models to think about things, and helps you to become aware of the problems you never knew existed. And it helps your normalize your expectations: you may think your company sucks, but reading widely and critically helps you realize even the very best companies deal with the same problems and don't really have significantly better solutions.

Reading a good book is like having a conversation with and picking the brain of a really competent mentor, dead or alive, and of a calibre that not exist in your organization. Internal mentorship is sometimes oversold. Most organizations have managers that have merely adapted to their local ecosystem and don't really have any insight on management as a craft. Managers who learned purely through experience tend to be shaped by the company's culture and may do very well in their niche but lack imagination to go beyond because they have no theory to hang their thoughts on.

Also, books are like travel -- you don't know what you don't know until you've seen for yourself what exists. You sometimes need to peek outside your organization to see what other cultures exist.

In the UK, "fixed penalty notices" (parking tickets) cost e.g. £35 if you pay them within 14 days, or £70 if you pay them later. This is spun as an "early payment discount", but can also be viewed as a "late payment punishment".

A surprising number of people seem to think that they are getting a bargain if they pay early. I appreciate "a surprising number" is not a highly accurate data point :) I am currently reading Cialdini's Influence - some of the research suggests this method of offering the carrot before the stick do work.

I've read the book, as well as Influence. Influence is a far stronger book because it does a better job of describing the theoretical underpinnings of why the 50 tricks work.

Some of the tricks are really narrow and so they aren't all that useful themselves (e.g. to write post it notes and put those on interoffice forms and surveys for a better response), but with the theories you can make better extrapolations.

Cialdini is a salesman with credentials who's spent most of his time studying good salesmen and selling other salesmen on the idea of learning how to sell better.

At the end of his big bestseller Influence, he goes into a long-winded moralization about how he hopes his work helps people resist the terrible influence of immoral salesmanship... for example by being mindful of the "secret weapons" of Social Proof and Authority and Scarcity.

of course, he writes this in a book (a NATIONAL BESTSELLER as it says on the cover) that is literally covered in testimonials and promotional blurbs from "thought leaders" with credentials, mainstream publications like HBR and Fortune, praising Cialdini, PHD for revealing "little known secrets of Master Influencers" yada yada yada.

I love Cialdini, thanks for linking. I recommend his book on Influence to everyone.

I did think about this reciprocity initially when I heard no equity involved, however I don't think YC & Co's problem is getting startups to agree take their money after mentoring? Their issue is likely getting enough investment opportunities to put cash into as fast as they can raise it. ( ie-pretty fast ). For that they need a bigger opportunity pipeline.

So, i basically agree that they are getting first dibs, but due little to Cialdini's rule on reciprocity. I'd point more towards 'Liking' (ie building the trust early) or 'Authority' since they are getting in the door first with founders and are likely the initial startup mentor.

What I see, is that this program is just a simple (relative) way to ignite some ideas that are on the cusp of being implemented, remove some of the founding barriers, and start a conversation with their team earlier on in the process (no one wants to be the third on the list to call to invest in a great co.). The standard YC class schedule and size limitations are likely the gating factors to their growth, especially when interest in 'startup investing' isn't declining, and YC has already made moves to make it easier for non-accredited investors to invest.

Maybe this is in line with what you were referring to.

some that haven't been mentioned:

- the innovator's dilemma by clayton christensen

- blue ocean strategy (kim and mauborgne) -- these two books give you a little bit more of a framework to evaluate where your idea adds value and give you examples of how/why some successful companies have been successful

- high tech startup by nesheim -- a little dated, but lots of info

- negotiation/people books: getting to yes (fisher, ury) and getting past no (ury), influence by cialdini
(useful for more than just startups)

- maybe some management books: peopleware (demarco and lister), the art of project management (berkun), first, break all the rules (buckingham)

- founders at work (livingston) to get inspired

+1 to crossing the chasm, and the godin & gladwell books, art of the start

blogs: onstartups.com, fred wilson, brad feld, seth godin, etc., guy kawasaki

-drew

Influence by Robert Cialdini. This book is required reading for any entrepreneur who will eventually be a marketer (i.e. all of them)

* Influence by Cialdini - great overview of the psychology of human motivation and influence. You'll get the inside dirt on a lot of sales and marketing tricks.

* Seeing like a State by James Scott - a good political history with lots of insight into many conventions in our modern society, such as even last names, were created to make society manageable by a central government.

* Europe and the Europeans by Barzini - the closest thing I have found to being a time traveler, skipping between different places and times in Europe from 1920 to the 1970's.

Just started going down this rabbit hole myself. I've noticed to really grasp and develop your own mental models you deeply have to understand a few things first:

1. Human biases: Every mental model is built upon some human bias.

2. How incentives work: Understanding the motivation behind why people do what they do.

3. Mental thought construction: Understanding how the brain gathers, processes and stores information.

4. Biology: How we've evolved (and haven't) from stone age times and how that still influences us today.

This is by no means exhaustive but are just some of the topics I've found most useful. That said, here are the best resources I've found:

- The Art Of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli: Taught me about human biases. Reads like a directory of most biases.

- Influence by Robert Cialdini: Taught me about incentives and a whole lot more.

- Metaphors We Live By by George Lakoff: Taught me about mental thought construction.

- Poor Charlie's Almanack by Charles Munger: Taught me about many things but most importantly good decision making.

- Sapiens by Yuval Harari and his course https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE-kxvSEhkzDEmLQx3RE0...: Taught me about how we've evolved as humans and how we haven't.

- Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman: Taught me more about human biases.

- Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely: Taught me more about how and why we make decisions and what good decisions are.

The thing I've really started to notice is it's not enough to know or read about mental models, you have to ruthlessly apply them. This is tough when even knowing about your biases doesn't stop you from still being affected by them.

It was written in a different time so the language and examples are archaic and would look odd now, but the principles are the same.

To paraphrase badly, there's examples along the lines of "So I laid my hat on the desk, asked his girl to fetch us some coffee and said '...so let's name the company after you'. He took the deal.".

Following that to the letter would likely get you kicked out (ie. wearing a fedora to a business meeting makes you look like a loon, summoning the nearest woman to fetch you coffee would likely get you a dirty look or a lawsuit) but the underlying principle of giving up credit to the other guy so everyone gets what they want is still a valuable principle.

You can't create word-for-word scripts for social interaction as context varies wildly between situations, locations and time periods - but there are underlying principles of interaction that can be modeled and learned, especially by those who are not naturally gifted with communication skills.

(Some other fascinating books on this subject: Robert Cialdini's Influence and Eric Berne's Games People Play)

Influence scams are no reason to skip on politeness. The scams use a few well known psychological switches. Once you realize you are being under a dishonest influence attempt it is very easy to disconnect from the process - still politely, if firmly. I suggest "Influence" by Robert Cialdini as a well written general survival guide against the influence artists of the world and as a guidebook as well..

I am skeptical a single book can change how a person thinks about the world - at least on a practical level.

Actually transformative concepts are usually not simple, and they need to mature in the thinkers mind.

Most important subjects are ao large it would be impossible to cram them into a single book.

Books can be insightfull and amazing, and there are several that are so vivid I find chapters from them popping into my head. A few recent books I feel have been very enligthening to me:

Notes on the synthesis of form by Alexander. Skunk works by Ben Richie. Influence by Cialdini. Skin in the game by Taleb. Isaacson's biographies.

I would recommend these books for a good grounding in marketing and fostering innovation:

   The Innovator’s Dilemma by Clayton Christensen
   Crossing the Chasm and Inside the Tornado by Geoffrey Moore
   Innovation and Entrepreneurship by Peter Drucker
   Marketing High Technology by William Davidow
   Four Steps to the Epiphany by Steve Blank
   Jumpstart Your Business Brain by Doug Hall
   E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber
   Blue Ocean Strategy by W. Chan Kim & R. Mauborgne
   Influence The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
   The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing by Al Ries and Jack Trout
   Secrets of Consulting by Gerald Weinberg

For an article that summarizes key concepts see http://skmurphy.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/Crucial%20Mar...

There is a companion slide deck here http://www.skmurphy.com/f/SDForum061211.pdf

I didn't encounter much in the way of quantitative stuff other than DeMesquita's "Logic of Political Survival," and related papers and code, which is what people should understand after they have read the foundational books like Getting To Yes, Influence, Never Split the Difference, the guidebook to negotiations A-Z from The Economist, etc.

People who haven't read laterally in it tend to only have one or two tools that have worked for them up to their level. Haggling, bargaining, and auction models aren't really negotiation. Reality is, it's the process of price discovery, often with people who are looking for rules they can break and points of leverage.

I would recommend "Influence" by Robert Cialdini.

The idea any of us can resist - not even large corporations, but friends, neighbours, random people on the street - is just not supported by reality.

We're all incredibly prone to pretty basic psychological manipulation; and we're prone to it even when we're aware it's happening. Our society is built on the functioning of simple psychological manipulation to the point where it's often impossible to draw a line between what is manipulative vs. just following social norms.

Often you can see flat out people recognizing it - e.g. people not wanting to accept a gift, because they realize it will make them feel obligated to do something back for someone and find it easier to avoid the would-be gift-giver than to not let it influence them.

I agree with you the Amish response is over the top, though, and it's full of the same issues.

You might also be falling victim to what I call the "Cialdini effect."

After I read his Influence book I couldn't have a normal interaction with sales people for a long time, since every time I'd recognise the techniques I would feel manipulated and angry.

It wasn't until a few years later that I actually could be impressed with the finesse of their execution while evaluating the morals of their actions separately.

Always go back to the classics

* The Design of Everyday Things
* Design for the Real World
* A Pattern Language
* Notes on the Synthesis of Form
* Never Leave Well Enough Alone
* Don't Make Me Think
* How Things Don't Work
* Usable Usability
* The Visual Display of Quantitative Information
* A Theory of Fun for Game Design

Other left-field books I've found myself going back to for design inspiration more than I would've thought

* The Death and Life of Great American Cities
* The Philosophy of Andy Warhol
* Influence by Robert Caldini
* Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human
* The Art of Looking Sideways
* Cosmos
* Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth
* The Theory of Moral Sentiments

And just specifically for computer UX, Smashing UX Design is a pretty good crash course.

Firstly, I think you are confusing different kinds of lies. Lying is bad for society when it is used to get an unfair advantage, i.e. to commit fraud. But lying in other contexts, for other reasons? If he tells his wife she looks great when, objectively, she's no Helen of Troy, should he also be stripped of tenure?

Secondly, teaching defense against the dark arts generally requires giving the students a working knowledge of the dark arts. Would you object to the publication of Robert Cialdini's Influence on the same basis?

Thirdly, by illustrating how easy it is to damage the free exchange of information, he helps individuals become more resistant to lies and helps the internet develop new ways to fight misinformation. Think of him as a vaccine to the actual 'information terrorists.'

The study this references was mentioned in the book Influence by Robert Cialdini. IIRC, even using the word because with a circular objective results in higher compliance. For example, “Excuse me. Can I use the xerox machine because I have to make copies?” resulted in 90%+ compliance rate vs. a ~50% rate with just “Excuse me. Can I use the xerox machine?” My memory is probably slightly with the exact percentages, but I always found that study fascinating.

I was in similar state a few of years back. Read these, and used them to a good extent.

Lean analytics. (must read)
Product-Led growth. (must read)
22 Laws of marketing (must)
One million followers

If you like scientific approach:
Influence by Robert Cialdini
Contagious (Jonah Berger)

This resource is also gold: https://brianbalfour.com/essays/customer-acquisition

I am also documenting my learnings in a book [1].

[1] https://book.amols.blog/59decisions

I don't think fiction can be shrunk down, but I think lots of non-fiction books can.

I'm thinking specifically of some books that I've read in the past couple of years that include:

  * Deep Work
  * Influence
  * Thinking Fast and Slow
  * Predictably Irrational
  * Getting Things Done
  * How to Win Friends and Influence People

I think all of these books suffer from the common pattern of present an idea then a bunch of examples that demonstrate the idea. I don't think you lose anything by ditching the examples. The core ideas are usually well stated and don't need clarification or demonstration.

>This is where countries with some sort of mandatory service may have us beat.

I doubt it. Turkey has it yet there are plenty of problems between religious people and secular people, as well as between Kurds and other Turks.

The book Influence by Cialdini dives deep into some of the elements needed. Some takeaways that I remember:

Forcing people to be together in unpleasant circumstances, without a common goal they can work towards, does not reduce the us vs them mindset. His example was school, but anything "mandatory" would qualify.

If people are forced to be together, and they work together voluntarily to solve a problem (e.g. by one side needing the other side's skills), then you have reduced polarization.

The more you talk about suicide, the more people commit it. It's a terrible conundrum in spreading awareness of how many people actually commit suicide. If there is a high-profile case of suicide reported, there will usually be an uptick in suicide and single car, single-passenger car crashes by people in similar demographics. There is an entire section in Cialdini's book Influence, on the social proof of suicide, and I just recently heard this Freakonomics podcast on the subject http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/08/31/new-freakonomics-radi...

Here are several books I've found extremely useful. Ranked by how important I view them.

1. Thinking Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman. If you're going to read one, read this. A lot of theory undergirding how people think. Decision making by people will make a lot more sense after this.

2. Influence - Robert Cialdani. Less theory and more pragmatic advice on how to influence people.

3. Drive - Daniel Pink, Switch - Chip Heath, Made to Stick - Chip Heath, Predictably Irrational - Dan Ariely. Books on specific sub-categories. More pop-psych. Information density is less, but easier to read.

4. Poor Charlie's Almanac - Charlie Munger. Best known as Warren Buffett's partner, this book is a collection of his speeches, letters, etc... You get an idea of how he thinks but, but you have to dig through the repetitive ramble to get it. Think of it as Charlie observing a lot of the prior principles but putting it into a real life/business context.

> Influence helps me a lot to deal with my 3 year old.

I'd been teetering on the fence with this book for about a year, but I think you just sold me on it (haha!)

Any idea whether it's worth an extra ~$7 for the (I gather) textbookified version of Influence subtitled "Science and Practice", 5th edition, versus the Revised Edition of the more mass-market "The Psychology of Persuasion"?

I've recently been trying to improve my negotiating skills by reading two books: You Can Negotiate Anything by Herb Cohen and Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini.

You Can Negotiate anything is a short book that gives tips and pointers and gives examples of negotiating tactics.

Influence is a fascinating book by a psychologist that supports every major point by describing various psychological findings and major events that exemplify that point.

The first book is more of a how-to book and the second is more of a why-it's-the-case book. I found both to be valuable in helping me recognize negotiating tactics, which hopefully makes me less vulnerable to being unconsciously influenced.

I agree. A read-through of Cialdini's "Influence" should give us a better idea on how to phrase this. Something like "looking forward to seeing you" is less suggestive of a no-show.

That reminds me, I need to finish that book. I believe it's on the Personal MBA list if that interests you.

http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Robert...

People might initially be excited about your idea, but after 3-6 months of you building it and not hearing from you, that excitement might die down or be tempered.

I'd say you need to do a couple of things. First, provide progress updates while building. Once you're done building and you decide to approach them again, re-iterate the pain points and benefits and try to build back that initial excitement. Also, read up on the principle of consistency in sales (for example pick up the book Influence by Cialdini). The idea is this: if you initially got a written and public commitment from the prospects, then those prospects will keep their word. They may also be less willing to flatter you given that kind of a commitment.

> when you have hundreds of millions of dollars directed at one person over several years, approval can slide from 66% to less than 40%

Yes. This is SOP.

> But, several times during the 2016 campaign I actually caught myself thinking that I didn't trust her. And, I had to remind myself why I liked her.

Don't take this the wrong way, but to me that sounds like cognitive dissonance. If you believe that it was actually unfactual information, I would suggest researching what influenced you badly and try to identify that next time.

Most of this stuff has remained the same since Robert Caldini wrote about it in his book Influence. It's just the tactics and strategies on how to apply them.

Disclaimer - I am not working on a startup right now, rather have a regular 9-5 job with a few projects on the side. I guess what I am saying is take my advice with a grain of salt.

Having said that, my simple advice is - Get Outside. Like a lot of other hackers, trivial social talk bored me. I love intellectual conversations and topics, and reached a point where the only "real" conversations I was having were online. But lately, I have been pushing myself to go outside and meet other people. Try taking a genuine interest in them, and you will come to realize that not only are other people as interesting and passionate as you, but a lot of them have the same issue as you, in that they find it hard to meet interesting people.

Over the weekends, I have been getting out of my apartment and heading out to a local coffee shop. Familiarity helps, going to the same place a few times means you get to know the staff and some of the regulars. Strike up a conversation with the person on the next table.

Throw a party. Ask your friends to call their friends. Its easier that way because you have overcome the first hurdle, and that is - "What do I say?". Start by asking someone knew how they came to know of the party!

Join some social groups - book clubs, dancing classes, martial arts or a meditation group (whatever interests you). These are great places to meet new people with similar interests (and no, the Local Linux groups does not count :D)

At the end of the day, social interactions take practice, much like anything else. You need to pursue it and treat it like any other task ("Deliberate Practice"). Over time you will come to realize that its not that hard. Yes, sometimes you fall flat on your face, but would you rather not try?

There are several books that can help, if you like to read up on it, two come to mind -

1. How to Win Friends & Influence People
2. Never Eat Alone
3. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

Good luck!

It appears to come from much earlier than 2007. See for example: Cialdini, Robert B.; Wosinska, W.; Barett, D. W.; Gornik-Durose, M. (October 1999). "Compliance with a request in two cultures: The differential influence of social proof and commitment/consistency on collectivists and individualists". Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 25 (10): 1242–1253. doi:10.1177/0146167299258006

Robert Cialdini may be the one who is most associated with this phrase. A few other items which reference it are:

Cialdini, Robert B. (October 2001). "Harnessing the science of persuasion". Harvard Business Review 79 (9): 72–79.

Cialdini, Robert (1993). Influence (3rd ed.). New York: HarperCollins.

So, I suppose the real question is, why does Google trends show a beginning in 2007?

Edit: There appear to be a number of articles about Cialdini's book in 2007. It appears that there was a Washington Post article in 2007 that spurred the interest spike: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/pearls-befo...

Dare to Lead -Rene Brown

Fooled by randomness- Nassim T

Principle - Ray Dalio

Drive - D Pink

The Laws of Human Nature -R Greene

Influence- Robert Cialdini

21st lessons for 21st century - Y. Harari

Why we sleep -M. Walker

Skin in the Game - Nassim T.
Social Animal - David B.

Einstein - Isaacson

Steve Jobs - Isaacson

Blink - malcolm gladwell

Outlier - malcolm gladwell

The tipping point - malcolm gladwell

Game of Throne series