May I also add "The Road Less Travelled" by Scott Peck to books on Psychotherapy. Excellent read.

"The Road Less Traveled" by M Scott Peck.

By far the best self-improvement book I've read. About discipline, love, growth and religion, and grace. I don't consider myself to be religious, but it's made me apply traditional values and spiritual growth from religion to help me become a better person.

I reread The Road Less Traveled this year.

The first 150 pages are particularly great.

>> But I've always wanted to find a therapist who is genuinely interested and can provide more insight than I can learn on my own from books like The Road Less Traveled.

Insight is tricky, as is introspection. Other people can offer suggestions and even insight as to what is going on in your head, but they have their own preconceived ideas and patterns they try to fit on you. Ultimately introspection must win, as you are the only one who can actually see what's happening in there. Variations on those suggestions may feel like a better fit - go with what feels most correct, but don't assume you've found "the" answer - I've had several step changes in the accuracy of my understanding of me.

Talk to people who know you, or are related to you, or have their own issues, whatever. You never know what will tip your thoughts into a better understanding of yourself.

Meditations (Marcus Aurelius) - incredibly clear ideas probably clear-up 80% of issues you have with everyday life

The Bible (& The Gnostic Gospels) - I love the idea that Jesus was a real guy who (literally) petrified his childhood playmates because they "vexed" him by dispersing his anti-gravity water :)

Atlas Shrugged - no excuses

Self and Others - personal pyschology

Seth Speaks - a lady channels an interdimensional being

The Road Less Travelled - a psychoanalyst's memoirs

Letters to a Young Artist - encouragement for going your own way, a series of letters

The Alchemist - help you read the signs from the heart of the World for your own path

An Introduction to Zen Buddhism, et al (T. Suzuki) - really interesting, non-duality, higher third unification of opposites

Hear the Wind Sing (Murakami) - really bizarre and pure, his first one written late nights at kitchen table after working in a bar, before he became famous

Rich Dad Poor Dad - solid advice

Discrete Maths (Rosen) - interesting and very learnable, a great reference

An Imaginary Life (Malouf) - great clarity of writing

The Solid Mandala (Patrick White) - amazing observation of people

My “laziness” was caused by little t trauma from childhood. I would stare at my editor and just start to cry at how I couldn’t bring myself to write code. I’m still working through it, but what has helped for me is taking space away from work, therapy, and the book The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. Good luck.

You know I think this is more common than you might think.
I struggle with this also. I've found the best way to break out of the cycle is to just do begin. Visualize yourself looking like an idiot and realizing it's ok. Think about how many times you have been in a meeting and someone said something you thought was stupid and it went quiet. Everyone just moves on to the next topic, it's never a huge deal. Do people hold it against them? No. If it's reoccurring, that's a different story.

Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It's an old time classic with advice that is very much relevant today. With my own struggles I found The Road Less Traveled
by Scott Peck also helped me.

You already say you're technically competent! You know you have the skills, what is it that you're really worried about when speaking? I think you need to ask yourself really what you think is going to happen. Think about times where you've spoken up and people ended up really appreciating your input. You've got this, you just got try a little bit every time you can.

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

You can heal your life by Louise Hay

highly relevant: M. Scott Peck "The Road less Traveled", in a nutshell the relationship to ourselves is what gives us the ability to be in a fulfilling relationship with others. I wanted to emphasize this because too many I know (including my former self) would rather be with somebody else ("to fulfill them or -worse- "make them complete") than develop a good relationship with our "self" first.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Scott_Peck#The_Road_Less_Tr...

Thanks for posting this randcraw. I was about to do the same before I saw your link.

To add to your description: The author of this article suggests that The Road Less Traveled is not about the action of taking the riskier or more adventurous path. It is about how, in the future, we need to justify the decisions we made in the past.

"According to this reading, then, the speaker will be claiming “ages and ages hence” that his decision made “all the difference” only because this is the kind of claim we make when we want to comfort or blame ourselves by assuming that our current position is the product of our own choices (as opposed to what was chosen for us or allotted to us by chance). The poem isn’t a salute to can-do individualism; it’s a commentary on the self-deception we practice when constructing the story of our own lives."

There is a lot of advice on this thread, so I might have missed it, but perhaps what I can contribute to the OP is that they should reflect on what they have the ability to change, and what they can not.

Be realistic about what you can contribute now, and what in the future you will be able to contribute with a concerted effort. Focus on your short-term ability and try to dovetail that with your long-term goals.

I don't really like quoting Tech Barons, but here's a good one from Bill Gates.

"We often overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in ten."

To be honest, as a socially awkward middle aged male who has made a few missteps in my life, Jordan Peterson is the only one I've heard in the last decade say that I might have something unique and good to offer the world instead of being a piece of shit who needs to shut up and let other people speak first.

This is worth quite a lot to someone like me. If you're trying to understand your enemy, you should understand just how powerful this is.

(Incidentally I've read The Road Less Traveled, didn't get much out of it, and find Peck to be much more sanctimonious than Peterson is.)

Every generation has a successful* fifty plus year old telling the 20 plus year olds how to live.

Mine was The Road Less Traveled, by I Forgot--Actually M. Scott Peck. It was written by a M--edical Dr. so it carried weight at the time. It started off with, "Life is hard." Yes--it is, so why not apply yourself in life/school/career?
How do you argue with that?

It was also filled with stuff that fits perfectly with a upper middle class white family. Oh yea, and God. Can't leave out God when your making obscene amounts of money.

(The first month he received $600, which was enough to help purchase better equipment to film his lectures. But the amount kept growing and, at last count, topped $60,000 per month (Peterson now keeps the amount he’s raising private)

Anyhoo--my advice is get through life without busting a mental gasket. Yes, I had a breakdown in my twenties, and gave never been the same. My only sense that stayed in tack was indentifing charlatans, and filthy greedy Lookers. I don't care what this guy is spouting. It sounds like a rail against the status quo--which will evolve on it's own--in most cases.

Our rights our being stomped on by the wealthy, and we are reading about some old fool who objects to gender pronouns?

Now--that's crazy.

I eventually found help through attending a church that focuses on community outreach and small groups, which helped me get outside my own head long enough to make some positive steps. But I've always wanted to find a therapist who is genuinely interested and can provide more insight than I can learn on my own from books like The Road Less Traveled. I don't know what other people go through, and I wish I understood Jung well enough to share with other people, but I suspect professionals are just throwing drugs because they're overwhelmed by the constant wave of misery and depression they're confronted with.

The Paypal Wars (4/5): Gives insight about the company from it's beginning to IPO. Might have suffered from survivalshi[ bias and is kinda anti-Musk.

The Circadian Code: Lose Weight, Supercharge Your Energy, and Transform Your Health from Morning to Midnight (4/5): Tells lots of things about biological clocks. Action items to have better sleep, mood and hunger.

Alan Carr- Easy way to quit smoking (5/5): Helped me to quit smoking with ease. Although I have started again and quit again because it was so easy to quit I fell in the trap that I would quit later. Hopefully, it will stick this time.

The Road Less Traveled (4.5/5): Scot Peck shares his experience of physiology and what he learned about human behavior. What he thinks make fully grown people and how to think in that direction.

The Little Prince (2/5): Probably I missed something in the book, probably the hype spoiled it for me but I didn't find it profound or anything.

I think what makes relationships work/fail is the relationship people have with themselves above all else.

At times I was lonely and miserable and wanted somebody in my life badly and in those times nobody ever was even remotely interested in me. The moment I did well and / or was also in a relationship it seemed like potential partners were all over me (it seemed almost unfair). Point I'm trying to make is people usually "date" for the wrong reasons. The moment they're in to find somebody to "complete themselves" they create a an unconscious demand on their partner which is the pre-programmed disaster that it will turn out to be. The moment I notice my date is "actively looking" I run.

To me the whole concepts of "dating" is very sterile. It's not in my culture maybe to have a formal process where you sniff each other with prepared questions and then after 3 years you check "where this is going". What has worked well for me is not ever to look for partners actively and the trick was always "the less I look the more opportunities I find" (strange that).

I think why most relationships don't last is because we literally suffocate everything that is good out of it. Usually it happens slowly so we don't notice (or tell ourselves things will get better - they usually don't). For most people it's just a way to build many small co-dependencies into a neurotic prison which they can be unhappy in but tell themselves "at least I feel secure". Some even think it's their mission to fix their partner (and all they do is set themselves up for pain).

A timeless classic on the psychology of relationships: Scott Peck "The Road less Traveled" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Scott_Peck#The_Road_Less_Tr... (one of my top 10 fav books I ever read (and I read a lot).

edit: my experience working for a dating startup called Friendscout24 (a total horror show) https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18713837

Both are GREAT schools and consider yourself lucky to have a choice. I did my masters at CMU (and have lived in Pittsburgh for 4 years) but for the past 8+ years have been in the bay area.

The cost of living is very very cheap in Pitt, no doubt.
Personally, I like having four different seasons - so weather was not a big deal for me. If you want consistent weather and clear blue skies, palo alto, it is. YMMV.

In CMU, you are very close to a whole lot of other big cities and universities - so travelling is lot easier.

So all that said, now to the important part: the important decision will be based on what your interests are.
CMU is very strong in Robotics and Artificial Intelligence
fields of study. Similarly, Stanford has its big specialties as well. So if you already know that you might major in Computer Science, try looking at the profiles and research interests of the computer science faculty at each school. Give yourself as much flexibility as possible here, because what you think/know now will be lot different in 2 years, 4 years and 6 years from now.

If you are entrepreneurial and you want to do a start up, then just close the circuit and take the shortest path - the bay area.

Or if you still want to do that, but take the road less taken, come here via CMU.

In anycase, read Robert Frost's "Road less travelled" poem. :)

Good luck.

Meditations - Marcus Aurelius - A Roman emperor's private thoughts to himself. He was a philosopher and practiced stoicism. He had everything a human could want, money, women, power and yet he reminded himself daily how fleeting it all was. How easily a man can be swayed from his purpose. How not to look down on others. It's my all time favorite book for keeping life in perspective.

The Road Less Traveled - M. Scott Peck - When I was struggling with depression and not feeling worth anything and generally a piece of shit someone pointed this book out to me. It talks about how no one can shoulder your psychology burdens for you and fix them. You have to take the work on full force and fix yourself. You may have suffered wounds in your childhood and be playing them out in your adulthood. It's all subconscious behavior.

The Game - Neil Strauss - I was struggling to understand women and relationships. This book fundamentally changed the way I understood myself and relationships with other people. Another great book for understanding that external forces can't bring you the happiness or fill the void you're hoping for.

I applaud your desire to seek out help (and your creativity). I am clearly not a professional but depression is an evolutionary response to loss, trauma, and/or change. The mind realizes that the current map of reality is off. Ultimately, as Dr. Peck wrote in The Road Less Traveled: "life is difficult". There are many problems to be solved in the journey of life. Life is about solving problems and things can get a bit brighter when we decide to become active problem solvers.

I think that you actually may have made progress in therapy because of the mere fact that you stuck with it for 7 years. You may be further on your journey than you realize. I wish you the best of luck.

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck - great insight into the human condition

One Minute Manager by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson - concise and pithy while containing lots of useful pointers

The Divine Center by Steven Covey - the spiritual grounding that informs his later more secular books and much more interesting if you don't mind religious thought mixed in with your motivation

The Foundation trilogy by Issac Asimov - Caused a huge detour in my life. Immersed myself in speculative fiction for decades due to the brain-quake caused by this material.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein - A detour of a different sort. Great introduction to alternative modes of thought to my uncultured religious teen mind.

LDS/Christian Scriptures - regardless of your belief level, the ideas/thoughts/stories/literature encompassed in scripture is enriching to the mind